Episode 116
Good Grief with Margaret Light [E116]
Matt Fanslow and guest Margaret Light, a licensed marriage and family therapist, dive into the complexities of grief. They discuss the inevitability of loss, the importance of acknowledging grief, and strategies for self-support during the grieving process, such as maintaining routines and honoring loved ones. They also cover how to support others who are grieving, offering practical help and emotional support. The conversation touches on the challenges of dealing with grief in the workplace and the need for understanding and patience. Additionally, they explore the concept of surrendering to grief and the dangers of using work or other distractions to avoid dealing with emotions.
Show Notes with Timestamps
- Margaret Light: https://www.equilibriumtherapyservices.org/
- The Unspoken Reality of Grief [RR 885]
- Matt's personal experience (00:01:12) Matt shares a personal experience about his father's health issues and his own feelings of grief and survivor's guilt.
- Understanding grief (00:05:29) Margaret explains the broad concept of grief, including different types of loss and the idea of complicated grief.
- The process of grief (00:12:36) Discussion on the non-linear nature of the grief process, the stages of grief, and the need to experience and process grief.
- Supporting individuals experiencing grief (00:18:06) Matt and Margaret discuss the challenges of navigating grief in professional settings and provide pointers on how to support individuals experiencing grief.
- Supporting Ourselves When Grieving (00:19:31) Tips for self-care during grief, including creating routine, seeking support, and honoring the loved one.
- Supporting Someone Who's Grieving (00:23:08) Practical ways to support a grieving person, such as providing childcare, acknowledging their grief, and avoiding false platitudes.
- Learning to Live with Loss (00:30:54) Discussion on the process of learning to live with the loss of a loved one and the challenges of accepting mortality.
- Dealing with Loss and Control (00:34:44) Exploration of the fear and loss of control associated with unexpected or unexplainable events, and the frustration of not being able to fix emotional pain.
- Grieving requires attention (00:37:28) Discussion on the intentional effort needed to be present and attentive during the grieving process.
- Surrendering to grief (00:38:03) Exploring the concept of surrendering to grief and accepting difficult emotions.
- Recognizing red flags in grief (00:41:22) Identifying signs of unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviors in response to grief.
- Reintegration and moving forward (00:49:06) Exploring the reintegration phase of grief and the purpose of grief in helping individuals move forward in life.
- Acknowledging the value of grief (00:51:21) Recognizing the significance of grieving as a reflection of love and the importance of feeling strong emotions.
- Challenges in addressing emotions (00:54:35) Discussing the difficulties in addressing emotions, especially in male-dominated industries, and the need to learn to navigate and apply emotional understanding.
- Grief and Emotional Intelligence (00:56:33) Discussion on the benefits of emotional intelligence, the downside of suppressing emotions, and the importance of addressing grief.
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