Relationships 101 with Margaret Light [E058]

• 41% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
• Up to 70% of divorces are initiated by the wife, and when in a couple, the wife is college educated, that number drops and jumps to up to 90% of divorces initiated by the wife.
• Who regrets a divorce after it happens? 39% of men regret a divorce compared to only 27% of women.
• Most couples are waiting too long to seek some type of help with their marriage.
• Divorce men are 2.5 times more likely than married men to commit suicide and 8 times more likely to commit suicide than divorced women.
• 66% of men name their wives as their primary social support, 21% name friends, and 10% say they have no one at all.
• 4 communication patterns that tend to lead to divorce- eye rolls are a symptom of contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling
• The first 3 minutes of a conversation dictate the rest of the conversation, how well or how poorly that goes.
• Couples in unhappy relationships spend all their time looking at the other person and not enough time looking at themselves.
• You have two different people in a relationship with two different sets of thoughts and feelings, and needs. It is possible for one person in that relationship to feel good about the relationship and think everything's okay or good enough, and it is possible for the other person to be downright miserable.
• Imagine the most recent fight you had with your spouse or negative interaction- if you remove yourself from that scenario and were to put someone else in your place, and it was like you were watching a movie, how would you feel towards that person who's playing you? Would you like what you see? Could you stand by those actions? What are the parts of what they're saying that are true?

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